Comments on: The Difficult Person http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/ Watch out. We've got sharp sticks. Fri, 18 May 2012 02:57:02 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Alison from the UK http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-24073 Alison from the UK Mon, 03 Dec 2007 17:31:51 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-24073 One thing I always puzzle over - do toxic people know they are toxic? Also, are they unhappy? According to Sunday School and kindergarten teachers, and advice columnists, they should be miserable, but are they really? Where is karma when you need it. Thanks for the article and comments. It never hurts to be reminded you are not alone when dealing with difficult people. Usually I can shrug off the comments of the spiteful, but feeling rather vulnerable lately, I am finding it more difficult. One thing I always puzzle over - do toxic people know they are toxic?

Also, are they unhappy? According to Sunday School and kindergarten teachers, and advice columnists, they should be miserable, but are they really? Where is karma when you need it.

Thanks for the article and comments. It never hurts to be reminded you are not alone when dealing with difficult people.

Usually I can shrug off the comments of the spiteful, but feeling rather vulnerable lately, I am finding it more difficult.

]]> By: Marsha http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-23586 Marsha Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:48:28 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-23586 In the early 70's when I was a social worker and New Age thinking was ubiquitous, I read this article about people who are chicken soup and people who are poison. Chicken soup makes you feel good, and poison can kill you. Enjoy chicken soup, especially when you are down or sick, and avoid poison at all times and all costs. Being as polite and civil as you would be to a total stranger whom you have no intention of befriending or cultivating (like a police officer who's writing you a ticket, for example) is the way to handle poison people, even if they're your relatives or your boss. So I quit trying to fix poison people a long time ago. No reaction and no response to a hateful comment pretty much ends the conversation, which is generally fine with me! In the early 70’s when I was a social worker and New Age thinking was ubiquitous, I read this article about people who are chicken soup and people who are poison. Chicken soup makes you feel good, and poison can kill you. Enjoy chicken soup, especially when you are down or sick, and avoid poison at all times and all costs. Being as polite and civil as you would be to a total stranger whom you have no intention of befriending or cultivating (like a police officer who’s writing you a ticket, for example) is the way to handle poison people, even if they’re your relatives or your boss. So I quit trying to fix poison people a long time ago. No reaction and no response to a hateful comment pretty much ends the conversation, which is generally fine with me!

]]> By: Deborah M. http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-22713 Deborah M. Thu, 15 Nov 2007 05:57:29 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-22713 Oi, keep writing! I'm snorting with laughter and reading this post out loud to my husband, who is falling apart. Thanks for the free therapy! :) Oi, keep writing! I’m snorting with laughter and reading this post out loud to my husband, who is falling apart. Thanks for the free therapy! :)

]]> By: JoLene Treace http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-22083 JoLene Treace Tue, 06 Nov 2007 17:24:31 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-22083 Ellen that was a truly entertaining read. One thing I find interesting in many Christian circles is the idea that if you are a good Christian, everything must be sweetness and light and that just is not so. We must forgive our enemies, yes...but we do not have to have lattes with them. And in difficult people's cases, it does not mean you have to leave yourself open for abuse. We can change our attitude toward them all we want...in the end, the only way they will change is if they desire to do so. I love your attitude about it too, and glad to see that you have seen the garden of new age wisdom for what it is. You go, girl. Ellen that was a truly entertaining read. One thing I find interesting in many Christian circles is the idea that if you are a good Christian, everything must be sweetness and light and that just is not so.

We must forgive our enemies, yes…but we do not have to have lattes with them. And in difficult people’s cases, it does not mean you have to leave yourself open for abuse.

We can change our attitude toward them all we want…in the end, the only way they will change is if they desire to do so.

I love your attitude about it too, and glad to see that you have seen the garden of new age wisdom for what it is.

You go, girl.

]]> By: Vicki http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-22027 Vicki Mon, 05 Nov 2007 20:13:11 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-22027 Too funny! Love your attitude. I just usually skip to "It must suck to be you". Course I paid $100 a session first. Vicki Too funny! Love your attitude. I just usually skip to “It must suck to be you”. Course I paid $100 a session first.
Vicki

]]> By: Diane http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21758 Diane Thu, 01 Nov 2007 23:44:20 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21758 Where do all these difficult people come from anyway? I, too, have a difficult grandmother. We figure she's too mean to die. Where do all these difficult people come from anyway? I, too, have a difficult grandmother. We figure she’s too mean to die.

]]> By: debsnm http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21750 debsnm Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:48:08 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21750 My mother has raised passive-aggressive to a high art. She can take the most banal of comments and leave your head spinning for days. I find that forgiveness, when given whole-heartedly does much to take the wind out of Difficult Persons' sails. And the look on their faces when you say, with all love and sincerity "I know you meant well, and I forgive you." Is better than watching any death throes might ever be. My mother has raised passive-aggressive to a high art. She can take the most banal of comments and leave your head spinning for days.
I find that forgiveness, when given whole-heartedly does much to take the wind out of Difficult Persons’ sails. And the look on their faces when you say, with all love and sincerity “I know you meant well, and I forgive you.” Is better than watching any death throes might ever be.

]]> By: cindy http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21624 cindy Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:06:41 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21624 Mostly I just love the line, "from long and bloody experience." That's one for keeping! You know those horrible dreams where you realize you've left the swimming pool locker room and stepped out to the edge of the pool, only to realize you forgot to put on your swimsuit and are nude? Well, in the spirit of forgiveness and true generosity of heart, imagine your Difficult Person standing at the edge of the hometown pool where the good-looking guy from her Chemistry class is the lifeguard and the most popular girls in school are sunning three feet away, only to discover she's butt naked with her cellulite-pocked cheeks lounging against the back of her knees. Imagine the look on her face at the moment of discovery. It will make you feel better, and there's less karma to work off than with poisoning. Mostly I just love the line, “from long and bloody experience.” That’s one for keeping!
You know those horrible dreams where you realize you’ve left the swimming pool locker room and stepped out to the edge of the pool, only to realize you forgot to put on your swimsuit and are nude?
Well, in the spirit of forgiveness and true generosity of heart, imagine your Difficult Person standing at the edge of the hometown pool where the good-looking guy from her Chemistry class is the lifeguard and the most popular girls in school are sunning three feet away, only to discover she’s butt naked with her cellulite-pocked cheeks lounging against the back of her knees.
Imagine the look on her face at the moment of discovery.
It will make you feel better, and there’s less karma to work off than with poisoning.

]]> By: Cetta http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21622 Cetta Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:11:20 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21622 Heh. I needed this. I'm dealing with a Difficult Person lately, too. Heh. I needed this. I’m dealing with a Difficult Person lately, too.

]]> By: Ellen http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21602 Ellen Tue, 30 Oct 2007 13:16:25 +0000 http://www.knitsisters.com/2007/10/29/difficult_person/#comment-21602 I'd love to tell you more scintillating detail about the Difficult Person, Hanna, but then again, you never know who might be reading the blog... I’d love to tell you more scintillating detail about the Difficult Person, Hanna, but then again, you never know who might be reading the blog…

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